Helper Monkey

Have you ever seen those helper monkeys? The ones that disabled people get to perform simple tasks like turning lights on or retrieving objects. Ever want one of your own? It's a dream that can become a reality, simply by having a child. A three year old is a perfect substitute for a monkey.

I remember fondly the first time I got Ian to do something. I was sitting on one of the recliners watching TV. I was cold, and thought it would be nice to have a blanket, but I was too lazy to get up and get one myself. Enter Ian. He probably wasn't much older than two at the time, but with some urging I got him to walk over to a nearby basket and grab me a blanket. It was great.

At almost three and a half, he can now perform relatively complex tasks. He's tall enough and strong enough to yank open the fridge door, so not only can he put away his own cups of milk, he can fetch sodas. Not five minutes ago Sarah was sitting down with Noah and asked me to get her a Diet Pepsi. Did I get off my own butt to do it? Heck no. I called for the monkey butler.

"Daddy, you want a Diet Pepsi?" he asked me after pulling out one for Sarah. What a considerate little guy.

Now I just need to teach him how to drive so he can run to the store and get ice cream.